Count your Blessings

After reading, “He Struggles, but he is my hero” written by a mother of a little boy with autism, I realized that I share the same philosophy as this mother. I would not change a thing about Tyler. He is my gift from God. Although at times, life can be very difficult, I still would not change a thing. He is so sweet and loving, happy, funny and intelligent – he is incredibly gifted. He LOVES all of the important people in his life – he knows what love is. I was not sure if he would ever know this, but he does. He tells me every day how much he loves me. He loves his brother and Daddy so much. We are so lucky that Luke loves Tyler with just as much passion. Tyler also tells me all the other things he loves, his family members, outside, inside, Chris' keys, the kitchen. You’re probably thinking “why the kitchen?” Well that is where we create yummy things, such as pancakes, cookies, muffins and macaroni and cheese. So of course he would love the kitchen! I forgot to mention water, he LOVES water, drinking it and playing in it.

“Unless you have a child with a significant disability, such as Autism....you will NEVER, EVER (not in a million years) be able to fully understand the heartache, the pain, the worry, the guilt, the sorrow, the helplessness, the frustration - the loss...that comes with the diagnosis and every day afterward.”

The other day, we went to one of the local jumpy places. The boys love going there and we always have such a good time. But that day, there was a change in routine which threw Tyler off -- a stamp instead of a wristband. This sounds like nothing to your typical child, but for a child with autism, this is a BIG deal. So he starts tantruming and the owner suggests I try threatening him to get him to cooperate. This really ticks me off! I want to tell this woman to shove her threat up her ass, but I am polite, I just tell her, "my son has autism." To which she replies, "I am so sorry, next time we won't even worry about this." There are always little things that can trigger a meltdown and this just happened to be it. I wish people would be more understanding. The next time a child has a tantrum in a store or restaurant, it may not be a "bratty child" but a child who has special needs that is overstimulated. Compassion can make this world a better place.

I have been struggling lately with Tyler’s regression in potty training, his gastrointestinal issues and tests that do not really measure where my child is with his language development. I get so frustrated when Tyler has a test, like the PLS-4, which was written for typically developed children. It does not show what a rock star he is and how far he has come in the two years since he was diagnosed with autism. All the progress he has made astounds me, but these tests do not show that! So from now on, I will take those tests with a grain of salt. I am with him EVERYDAY – I KNOW how far he has come and everything he has had to overcome. I KNOW what he can do, so I will NOT focus on what he can’t do. Every little achievement is a celebration!

I will NEVER give up, even when I want to hide under a rock and cry a river. I will always fight for my son and make sure that he has a fulfilling life. I will challenge him and he will challenge me, this is just the way it will always be.

Here is the link to Jenipher’s article on the Autism Support Network if you would like to read it:
http://www.autismsupportnetwork.com/news/he-struggles-hes-my-hero