The Future

When you have a child with special needs, sometimes the future can be scary -- the unknowns. Will Tyler be bullied because he is different? Will he be able to live independently and be accepted in society or will he live with me until I die? Will he be able to go to college, have a career and have good, solid relationships with people? These are the things I worry about and some of my greatest fears. Today, I attended Tyler’s annual ARD, the planning meeting for next year. I left the meeting full of hope and positivity, thinking of all of the new things that will come next school year.

I am so pleased with Tyler’s placement. He will be in a full inclusion Kindergarten class with pull-out for speech therapy. His new teacher knows him, loves him and wants him in her class; I could not be happier. But I was also filled with another emotion, tremendous sadness, to leave the area that I have grown so familiar with – the Early Learning team of PPCD and Pre-K. Tyler has had the most amazing teachers the past three years and all of his new ones will have BIG shoes to fill. I will miss them tremendously, their hard work and perseverance with Tyler has helped him achieve some major milestones this year, especially potty training; for that, I will be eternally grateful.

Emailing Tammy (Tyler’s private speech therapist) today brought me to an incredible realization. Three years ago this was not something we thought would be possible, an inclusion class for Kindergarten. His speech was so delayed as were so many other areas, such as fine motor skills. Tyler has come such a long way! I am so proud of all of his progress and achievements. This is a true success story on the impact early intervention has on children with special needs. Academically, he is on target. He still struggles socially, but continues to amaze me with his progress and ability to have reciprocal conversations with people. This is an amazing feat in itself! I could go on and on, but I think I would rather take the time to thank those who have helped Tyler get where he is today.

Ms. Armstrong, I cannot even begin to thank you for EVERYTHING you have done for Tyler. You have such a peaceful disposition and a positive outlook for each of your students. You created Tyler's first structured learning environment, observed and enhanced his skills and helped him to move beyond his weaknesses. You also taught me so much, especially about picture schedules, which has helped tremendously. We were so lucky that you were able to work with him again this year, continuing to push him to do his best, both academically and behaviorally. You have the gift of knowing how to challenge him, even though sometimes you would butt heads with him over writing letters other than “T” due to his sheer stubbornness at trying new things. You never gave up and continued to challenge him. Three years later, he is such a changed little boy. You are a true autism whisperer!

Mrs. Geen, your compassion, patience and love for ALL of the children you teach inspires me. You are the ultimate caregiver and positive role model that all parents want their children to have in their lives. Tyler has learned so much the past two years from you and grown intellectually and emotionally as a result. You’ve really honed in on his love of animals and sparked his curiosity in science. His penmanship has improved dramatically this year, thanks to all of your hard work. I was so excited this year when you sent a note home telling me to have Tyler read me “The Snowman”. He read it word for word and I was such a proud mama! You really have a gift at bringing out the best in your students.

Ms. Melissa, you are truly the “mama bear” of the Early Learning Team. I am amazed at your patience and how well you know all of the children, especially how you can get them to behave! You have done so much to help us with Tyler, especially with potty training. Perhaps I should lobby for a pay raise for you due to your awesomeness. Maybe I’ll just get you a lifetime supply of Diet Dr. Pepper. You are an invaluable asset to the team. I wish I could steal you away and take you with us to Kindergarten, but Mrs. Geen and Ms. Armstrong would never forgive me. I love your sense of humor and the grace you draw upon to deal with the children in difficult times. Just thinking about you brings a big smile to my face.

Change is good, but especially hard when you have to leave behind those you care about and get out of your comfort zone. Someone once said, “Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for awhile and leave footprints on our hearts. And we are never, ever the same.” Our lives have definitely changed and for the better due to all of the hard work of Tyler’s teachers. I will always look back on this time and remember the fun, the hard times, the positive growth, the encouragement and support. I will remember how lucky I was to have these people in my life. I will always feel these “footprints” on my heart.

The New Obsession

Today, I decided to make a change, one that will help me take on the unbearable, crazy hot summer that has already begun, months early – a much shorter hairstyle. When you’re a busy mom, easy makes everything better. Friends and family not living in Texas, we began to hit 90 degree heat back in March, much too soon for my taste. When Tyler got home, he immediately noticed my haircut, “Wow Mommy! You got a haircut! It looks cool!” I lost count how many times he said this, so I’ll say around 50. This made my day, but was also the beginning of his new obsession – my awesome, new purple blow dryer.

Tyler has always loved anything which makes noise, especially of the musical variety – musical toys and music in general. Because of his sensory issues and noise sensitivities (he has Superman’s hearing), he was afraid of loud noises, including the blow dryer, vacuum and weed eater. Just getting one of these modern, convenient devices out would send him into hysterics and wild meltdowns would ensue. Now, it’s the opposite; he can’t get enough and becomes totally OCD about all of them. I made the mistake of showing him my new, kick-ass, purple ionic blow dryer. Purple pride, baby! Now, that’s all he wants to do, blow dry his buzz cut hair, who would’ve thought?


Tyler: Mommy, can I go and blow dry my hair?

Me: No, your hair is dry. You don’t need to blow dry it!

Tyler: Please mommy, I really want to dry my hair.

Me: It’s not wet! But if you must, use the cool function so it won’t be so hot!

Tyler: I love your blow dryer Mommy. It’s purple!

Me: I’m glad that you love it, purple is an awesome color.


Just writing this conversation down has me doing cartwheels! It has taken me years to have a conversation like this with Tyler. Many parents take this for granted, because their children began talking when they were supposed to and did not have to wait years for this awesomeness. Tyler was a late talker as a result of his autism and did not begin to use sentences until he was three. He is 5 ½, but his language is more like that of a four year old. Many frustrating times followed and still occur, when he can’t find the words to express himself. The above conversation is miraculous to me! Thanks Tammy, we have come such a long way. Sometimes, I am so overwhelmed with emotion -- happy tears fall fiercely down my face. Here’s to many more happy tears and joyous celebrations of good things.

Modern Autism Mama

As I pursue my dreams with a Master’s in Education this year, I know it will pose great challenges to me, especially striving to be the best mom and student I can be with two young children. There is no doubt in my mind that I can achieve that goal, I have high expectations and waited a long time to do this. Managing my time will be the most important thing I do as I work toward my goals, since I now have two full-time jobs.

I am already enjoying my class so much and feel so alive and inspired; my mind is bursting with knowledge and I find myself critically thinking on how I can implement what I am learning in my class to help my students achieve great success. This is an adjustment period for me and my family, as I learn to manage my time and make it a point to spend precious time with my boys. At the same time, I will have to excel in my class, making time for my reading, research and writing. Thankfully, my program is online, so it creates a flexibility I would not have in the typical classroom. However, it is much faster paced, so staying on top of things is a key priority.

Friends and family will have to be patient with me, as I get used to my new schedule. If I do not respond to emails or phone calls promptly, please realize that I am busy trying to be an awesome mom and student. I will get back to you as quickly as I can. At the same time, I need to make time for myself and do things I enjoy, such as spending time with my boys, having coffee, drinks and conversations with friends, pleasure reading, walking the hike and bike trail, scrapbooking and jewelry making. I need to strive for balance so I do not get burned out, because the program I am in is incredibly intensive and I will have few breaks for rest and relaxation. Because of that, I need to be proactive and create them for myself. I also need to learn to let some things go. Keeping my house clean will be the biggest thing that I will have to let go. To me, it's more important to spend any extra time with my boys and not obsess over keeping a clean house. After all, time is the most precious resource any of us has and I choose to spend any free time I have doing things I love.

Another challenge I face is doing all of this and having a child with autism, which will present unique challenges. Routine is incredibly important for Tyler, without it, he gets anxious, stressed and has wild meltdowns. This week has been rough because his routine has been thrown off at school – his teachers have been at training and he has had substitutes – and he has been defiant. During weeks like this, my most important job will be to create normalcy for him. Last night, he had a major meltdown, and I felt so helpless, because I could not prevent it. His stress and anxiety over this week had gotten him so worked up that a tantrum was inevitable. I need to cut myself some slack and realize that this is what I have to deal with; there is no one to help me, so I have to be stronger than ever. I will just have to suck it up and take it “like a man” and do my best to settle him down and create relaxation time. Tyler's tantrum last night was a destructive one – he broke the gate at the top of the stairs when he was in cool down. I think it’s time to get the shaving cream out, and do sensory activities with him which settles his body and will hopefully destress him.

With all of this being said, I will also have less time to blog. I will try and keep all of you up to date with our world as much as possible, but posts will be much less frequent. I will try and write at least once a month and post pictures of the boys, so those of you abroad can watch the boys grow. As I work toward personal growth, I also look forward to the future and all of the great things that this experience and knowledge will bring to me, my family and future students. As Mahatma Gandhi said, “You must be the change you want to see in the world.” That is what I intend on pursuing.