Modern Autism Mama

As I pursue my dreams with a Master’s in Education this year, I know it will pose great challenges to me, especially striving to be the best mom and student I can be with two young children. There is no doubt in my mind that I can achieve that goal, I have high expectations and waited a long time to do this. Managing my time will be the most important thing I do as I work toward my goals, since I now have two full-time jobs.

I am already enjoying my class so much and feel so alive and inspired; my mind is bursting with knowledge and I find myself critically thinking on how I can implement what I am learning in my class to help my students achieve great success. This is an adjustment period for me and my family, as I learn to manage my time and make it a point to spend precious time with my boys. At the same time, I will have to excel in my class, making time for my reading, research and writing. Thankfully, my program is online, so it creates a flexibility I would not have in the typical classroom. However, it is much faster paced, so staying on top of things is a key priority.

Friends and family will have to be patient with me, as I get used to my new schedule. If I do not respond to emails or phone calls promptly, please realize that I am busy trying to be an awesome mom and student. I will get back to you as quickly as I can. At the same time, I need to make time for myself and do things I enjoy, such as spending time with my boys, having coffee, drinks and conversations with friends, pleasure reading, walking the hike and bike trail, scrapbooking and jewelry making. I need to strive for balance so I do not get burned out, because the program I am in is incredibly intensive and I will have few breaks for rest and relaxation. Because of that, I need to be proactive and create them for myself. I also need to learn to let some things go. Keeping my house clean will be the biggest thing that I will have to let go. To me, it's more important to spend any extra time with my boys and not obsess over keeping a clean house. After all, time is the most precious resource any of us has and I choose to spend any free time I have doing things I love.

Another challenge I face is doing all of this and having a child with autism, which will present unique challenges. Routine is incredibly important for Tyler, without it, he gets anxious, stressed and has wild meltdowns. This week has been rough because his routine has been thrown off at school – his teachers have been at training and he has had substitutes – and he has been defiant. During weeks like this, my most important job will be to create normalcy for him. Last night, he had a major meltdown, and I felt so helpless, because I could not prevent it. His stress and anxiety over this week had gotten him so worked up that a tantrum was inevitable. I need to cut myself some slack and realize that this is what I have to deal with; there is no one to help me, so I have to be stronger than ever. I will just have to suck it up and take it “like a man” and do my best to settle him down and create relaxation time. Tyler's tantrum last night was a destructive one – he broke the gate at the top of the stairs when he was in cool down. I think it’s time to get the shaving cream out, and do sensory activities with him which settles his body and will hopefully destress him.

With all of this being said, I will also have less time to blog. I will try and keep all of you up to date with our world as much as possible, but posts will be much less frequent. I will try and write at least once a month and post pictures of the boys, so those of you abroad can watch the boys grow. As I work toward personal growth, I also look forward to the future and all of the great things that this experience and knowledge will bring to me, my family and future students. As Mahatma Gandhi said, “You must be the change you want to see in the world.” That is what I intend on pursuing.