Quacking Ducks and Big Boys

Spring Break was so much fun this year! I’m not going to lie, I dreaded it. After my horrible Christmas Break with Tyler and his tantrums from being out of routine, I had no idea what to expect. But sometimes when you prepare yourself for the worst, a nice surprise awaits you.

We started our Spring Break with a trip to Northeast Texas to visit my family. I long to be in the Piney woods -- I love the smell, feel, the slow-paced life and the friendly, down-home people. Tyler gets car sick, so we stopped every couple of hours to let him get out, walk around and go to the bathroom. I am proud to say that we made our trip without the pukefest that I had envisioned. I think the best investment I have made in a long time is a portable DVD player! This kept the boys entertained throughout our six hour drive (12 hours round trip) and also kept them out of trouble. We had a wonderful visit and now that I know that the boys can handle the drive, we are planning to go back and visit soon.

After our little trip, we stayed in town and enjoyed the perfect, spring-like weather. Every day, we went to the park and took advantage of the time we had together to play wild and free, without the constraints of having to go to bed early. The boys stayed up late, we watched movies and also munched on lots of popcorn. Lunch dates with friends, bubbly fun play time in our back yard and hours of hopscotch fun were also a big highlight of our week off.

During Spring Break, I decided to put Tyler in big boy underwear. For weeks he was staying clean and dry at school and at home, he was going to the bathroom regularly and rarely had an accident. I am proud to say that he stayed clean and dry all week long. He also told me on our trip when I needed to pull over so he could use the bathroom. He has been back at school for two days and has stayed clean and dry. I am so proud of Tyler! This is a HUGE step toward independence and one that we have struggled with for years.

Perhaps the most memorable experience was on Friday evening, when we fed the ducks at Lindshire Park. This would have been tough to do a year ago, when Tyler was terrified of birds and their erratic motions. It was fun to feed the ducks and watch the sunset over the water. It’s funny how different my boys are, one more serious and precise and my other, wild, rambunctious and carefree. I also enjoyed some wonderful “me” time with friends -- margaritas, coffee and one of the best massages I have had in a while. I live for happy moments like this, they make me smile and give me even more laugh lines, but I wouldn’t change a thing.

The Little Fire Hose

It was an almost typical Friday night, the boys and I were celebrating Tyler’s awesome day staying clean and dry in big boy underwear at school. We made homemade pizza and the boys helped me add the toppings, cheese and pepperoni. The celebration continued with ice cream sundaes. After dinner, Tyler wanted to go upstairs and play games on the computer; Luke did too, but I vetoed that. He was filthy from head to toe in pizza sauce, ice cream and chocolate, an interesting combination. After bath was when the fun would begin.

While Luke bathed, Tyler played games on pbskids.org. As soon as bath time was over, Luke ran into the office, wrapped in his froggy towel to join in on the fun. Geoff and I were talking and Luke decided to rid himself of his towel and run naked. He did his little wild dance, which I call the “flash dance” and it made us laugh. Lord help me when he’s older, I think he’s gonna be a streaker. I can totally envision him invoking the Will Ferrell gods and saying, “Let’s go streaking!”

I thought Luke would enjoy a little naked freedom time, so I let him run around without any clothes or diaper. I was in the playroom, cleaning up the mess from Hurricane Luke and hanging up some new posters. Then I decided to check on the boys, so I went into the office. All of a sudden, I see Luke peeing on the floor next to Tyler and then Tyler tells me, “Mommy, there’s smoke.” I stood there, in disbelief, as I watched the smoke come up from the surge protector, which Luke had sprayed with his fire hose. I evacuated the boys from the room and called for back-up. We put the fire out, and I could no longer contain my uproarious laughter. Geoff was not amused and looked like he may blow a fuse himself. After all was calm, I immediately sent out a text message to my friends and sisters; this is what it said:

“Was letting Luke run naked & free after his bath. He peed on our surge protector and caused an electrical fire. I should be pissed, but can’t stop laughing. Then Tyler says, ‘Lukie peed on the fire alarm.’ So glad I have a sense of humor. Never a dull moment.”

Then the funny messages began and made my hilarious evening even more entertaining:

Tony: At least he didn’t get electrocuted, thank God, haha!

Maria: Of all the things he could pee on and that was it! Yikes!! But funny as hell!!

Amber: Jesus! Hahaha! That’s like a slapstick comedy.

Ryan: That one is definitely going in the blog!

Sharisse: Gosh that is funny! Tyler is so smart! He’s gonna b an Einstein.

V: Ha!! That’s the best way to handle it. Can’t change it but you sure can laugh!! Love ya!

Holy cow, I am still laughing! Seriously, the surge protector! Ryan later texted me and told me to keep Luke away from electrical fences. I think that’s an excellent idea! As I write this, our internet and wireless network are down, due to Luke’s peefest. Did I mention he also drenched the wall with his Forrest Gump-like freedom pee? The burning smell kept Tyler out of the office the rest of the night. He is sensitive to smells, so I sprayed the room with air freshener. I am hoping the burn smell will go away soon.

I never know what to expect with my two little men, it is always entertaining and never typical in our house. I am thankful for that! All I have to say is, Luke happens.

Bubblepalooza and Birthday Fun!

The weather has been delightful lately! The boys and I enjoy lazy afternoons in our yard when Tyler gets home from school, blowing bubbles, coloring with sidewalk chalk and playing hopscotch. We had a busy, fun-filled, exhausting week and even more fun over the weekend at a friend’s birthday party. The joys and wonder of little boys bring big smiles to my world.

Bubbles take us away to a happy, carefree place. It is so peaceful to blow bubbles and watch them take flight, especially on a windy day -- hundreds and hundreds of bubbles, spiraling up and spiraling down, filling our yard with magical goodness. I had forgotten we had a large bubble wand that dips into a shallow pan, so I got it out and the boys were mesmerized by the gigantic bubbles that were created. It didn’t take long for the fight to begin, over who would hold the wand. Turn taking did not work very well. I guess this means I need to get another one. Luckily for me I found our big bubble wand in the dollar area at Target. The cool thing about this wand is when it’s windy, we don’t even have to blow the bubbles; they just form and blow away. This windy weather is making me look forward to getting a kite and and flying it high through the park with the boys.

We had a birthday party today for Luke’s sweet friend Ben. I was hesitant if we would all go, or just Luke and I. Sometimes birthday parties are difficult for us with Tyler, he gets over-stimulated and upset and can easily have a meltdown. This is unusually frustrating and embarrassing, especially when you don’t really know someone that well. Ben’s mom approached me in the hallway at school and asked if we would be able to go to his 3rd birthday party. I told her we would be there if I was able to find a sitter for Tyler. She told me to go ahead and bring him. I hesitated, and then explained my situation to her -- that Tyler had autism and birthdays were hard for us. She smiled, looked at me and reassured me that this would be fine. She also told me that she used to work with autistic children, so it eased my mind. I am so glad Susan and I talked -- we had the most wonderful time at Ben’s birthday party today, bouncing in the bouncy house, running around in their backyard and swinging. Luke also enjoyed playing in the sandbox and baptized their dog, Pete, in sand. I was embarrassed, but she thought it was hilarious and took a picture.

Today was a testament to how well Tyler is doing, to be able to go into an unfamiliar environment, be at ease and have fun and not tantrum or get over-stimulated. This also helped me to relax and enjoy myself. I have not felt this way at a birthday party, ever! Thanks so much Susan. I am always on guard, ever the watchful parent, following Tyler around to make sure that he is behaving appropriately. I think I can get used to this! Another beautiful thing about today is that Tyler stayed clean and dry in his big boy underwear. Potty training has been an uphill battle, but finally, things are working out. Hip hip hurray, Tyler!

I am looking forward to more birthday parties and beautiful days, with big blue skies and the sun glistening on the boys’ precious faces. I am also looking forward to the happy times that come from taking chances. I need to be more fearless! Today taught me that, and boy did it feel good.

Big Blue Sky

Tyler in the bluebonnets, Spring 2007






The weather has been so beautiful lately, it’s a nice change from the cold weather we have had here in Central Texas this winter. I love cold weather, but it means staying inside more with the boys which means they are bouncy balls full of energy. It also makes the witching hour quite interesting, but not in a good way, more like a woman on the verge of a nervous breakdown kinda way. Yesterday, the high was 83 degrees at our house, so we all put our shorts on and let the sun shine down, brightening our day.

Here are some of my favorite things about warmer weather, the simple things which I live for:

1. Bubbles
Blowing bubbles brings big smiles to my little men. Luke is quite the connoisseur of bubbles. We had a blast blowing bubbles of all sorts of sizes yesterday. Then, I began to ponder and think philosophically about bubbles, if they are each unique, like snowflakes. That they are, and their colors are beautiful, bright and iridescent, reflections of all colors of the rainbow. Blowing, bursting and popping bubbles equal pure happiness in my book. The boys excel at blowing them, but Luke also excels at spilling the bubble solution. Tyler loves popping them with his nose. So outdoors we go, to bask in the sun and delight in the presence of hundreds of bubbles blowing wildly in our yard.

2. The Park
The boys and I love going to the park. Our favorite park is Gatling Gun Park in Shady Hollow. We love to meet-up with our friends there or meet new ones. Tyler loves to swing, slide and fly around on the monkey bars. Luke loves to mingle, play ball, slide and chase his friends. The boys also love riding their scooters, if mommy can remember to bring them. Unfortunately, I forgot them yesterday, but the boys still managed to have an awesome time. I love the established oak trees, which I am sure the boys will enjoy climbing soon. These trees bring lots of shade on hot summer days.

3. The Smells of Spring
I love the smells of the season, especially the flowers, fresh cut grass and clovers – in general, just the sweet smell of springtime. Spring is such a beautiful time of year, a time of new growth and new beginnings. I am hopeful that we will have a beautiful crop of bluebonnets this year. Texas legend states that in years of snowfall and wintery weather conditions, the bluebonnets are in abundance. I am hoping this proves true because I can’t wait to take pictures of the boys in the bluebonnets! Now, if I could just get Luke to sit still for a second.

4. The Sights and Sounds
I love the sounds of the birds chirping, its music to my ears and it means that springtime is around the corner. While we wait for the bus in the morning, Tyler tells me that they are singing a special song to him. I am so glad that his phobia of birds is diminishing. Thankfully, he hasn’t seen Hitchcock’s movie, The Birds. I love watching the old leaves fall and the new growth take form, bright green in color. Green is such a serene color and it makes me happy. The beauty in nature astounds me. I hope that the boys will enjoy the little things, like I do. I am also looking forward to planting some flowers. My dad always gives me hell about it, “Teresa, why do you want to plant something you can’t eat? I only plant things I can eat.” Well Dad, it’s about surrounding yourself with beauty and enjoying the simple things, the beauty in nature. By the way, your fresh vegetables are to die for!

5. Fresh Fruit
Oh, how I love fresh fruit, especially strawberries! They are magnificent this time of year -- big, ripe and full of tasty goodness. If you received some hand-dipped chocolate covered strawberries for Valentine’s Day, know you are greatly loved by me. If you didn’t, there’s always next year. Luke loves fresh fruit just as much as I do. I love his red, rosy deliciously yummy strawberry face. We also love grapes this time of year, they are so tasty. Luke calls them “appies.” We are lucky to live in such an awesome city with a competitive market for specialty food stores, such as Central Market, Newflower, Sprouts and good ole’ Whole (Paycheck) Foods. Because of this, we are able to enjoy our beloved fruits at lower prices.

It’s the little things that make me incredibly happy. A simple smile from the boys makes everything worthwhile, a stroll around the park, looking up and admiring the big, blue Texas sized sky on a beautiful, almost spring day.

Sweet Things

The best things in life are not things. ~Art Buchwald

As the boys get older, their little personalities continue to grow. They are really blossoming; they make me smile and laugh all the time with the sweet and funny little things they do. Here are a few from this week, which like sunshine and big blue skies, brightened my world.

Valentine’s Day is quickly approaching, which means that the boys and I have to prepare Valentine’s for their classes. They both love Toy Story, so we bought some pre-made ones this year which they chose. I think next year I will help them make some like I used to when I was a child. I miss the little things, especially hand-made crafts and cards. When a card is hand-made, you know that whoever made it thinks the world of you. As we were labeling Tyler’s Valentines, he was very picky with the ones he gave to his friends. This gave me a great deal of insight into how he feels about his friends. Since he is not as expressive as other children his age, sometimes it is hard to know his feelings. When he says things like this, I realize that his friends are incredibly important to him, just like mine are to me:

“I want to give this one to Jaden because he is very nice to me.”

This really melted my heart! As a mom of a child with autism, one of the things I worry about the most is how Tyler will be treated by his peers. I especially worry about bullying; so far, so good in that department. I just wish I could bottle this moment up and release it when he is a teenager; kids can be so mean and cruel, especially to those who are different.

Luke is my little wild man, very much like me at that age. He lives life to the fullest every day -- carpe diem is his motto. Last night, as I was helping Tyler get on the computer, Luke turned on the surround sound stereo and put on one of his favorite CDs, “Yummy Yummy” by the Wiggles. Yes, when not listening to Usher, we occasionally listen to children’s music. Tyler decided to come downstairs and dance around like a maniac with his brother. Earlier, he had brought down his clothes basket and demanded I wash clothes. I declined since there were only three things in the basket. So Tyler placed the clothes in the washing machine. Luke took the empty basket, put it over his body and danced around “like it was the last night of his life.” Luke's wild routine was like Jennifer Beals in Flashdance, minus the cage. I laughed uproariously! Then I had a bad thought, “Oh no, is this what we have to look forward to? A cage dancer!” Nothing will ever surprise me with Luke.

At school yesterday, I picked Tyler up around lunch time for his therapy session with Tammy. I walked into the classroom and then walked out to grab Tyler’s lunch box so we could head out. Tyler came outside and told me he wanted a cake, and this is what went down:

Tyler: Mommy, I want a cake!

Me: Is it your birthday?

Tyler: Yes, Mommy!

Me: No, it’s not your birthday, it’s in June. Luke’s birthday is before yours.

Tyler: (In song) Happy Birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear mommy, happy birthday to you.

Me: Thanks sweetie, but it’s not my birthday.

I walked back into the classroom and found out that it was his classmate’s birthday and there were cupcakes, which became a problem.

Tyler: I want a cupcake now!

Me: No, Tyler. You can have one when we get back from therapy. Mrs. Geen will save one for you.

Tyler: (getting upset) Mommy, I need a cupcake now! Please. I have to have one.

So I distracted him and pointed out Thumbelina, the hamster, which got his attention. While I did that, his teacher moved the cupcakes and then off we went, without a tantrum. His cupcake was there waiting for him when he returned.

The boys love this show called Bunnytown, it used to come on Disney, but they cancelled it. We bought a DVD with some of the episodes so the boys can continue to watch it. Actually, Mommy and Daddy love to watch it too! Out of all of the shows they love, it is actually one which I can sit down and watch too – it’s hilarious! They started airing the show in the UK, Canada and Europe in 2008 and then here in the US. The cast is mainly a bunch of puppet bunnies. The boys’ favorite segments are “Disco Pirate Bunny” and “Stinky Dino.” In fact, they love role playing “Stinky Dino.” It goes like this:

Tyler (to Luke and with sniffing noises): Ugh, you stinky!

Luke: Me not stinky, you stinky!

Tyler: No you stinky! (dirty dinosaur enters the background)

Luke (with sniffing noises): Me not stinky, Dino stinky! Bath time.

At this point, the boys chase each other in circles around the room. I love watching them role play “stinky dino,” its hilarious!

If you're interested in getting a glimpse into Bunnytown, here’s a YouTube video of the “Bunnytown Hop.”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g3-tMLwRTqI

These are our happy moments, which increase my laugh lines and always keep me smiling. Guess it’s time to return to a kooky little place called, Grumblestown.

Snow Day Fun

Snow, it only happens once in a blue moon, a rarity here in Austin. Ironically, we also had a blue moon recently. Tyler and Luke were so excited, and squealed with delight at the sight of our snow. As soon as they woke up, we headed downstairs to play in the snow. Forget about changing clothes, we went out in our PJs, rain boots, all bundled up and played outside until the boys' little hands and faces were red from the cold.

Tyler and Luke love Curious George and one of their favorite episodes is "Snow Day." So when I declared it was a snow day, they boys were jubilant. For days, the meteorologists predicted snow, but I was not convinced, especially when we started having freezing drizzle on Thursday night. I am so glad that Mother Nature delivered, for our little snow event brightened our world; just a smile from my boys is all it takes to bring me joy.

Tyler told us, “We need to get some skis so we can go skiing tonight.” Unfortunately, most of the snow melted by the time the boys woke up from their afternoon nap. Luke declared, “That’s some good snow” as he explored and played in it. This is the most snow he has ever seen! Luke was right, the snow was ultra powdery; had we gotten more, it would have been pretty awesome to ski on, especially down the hill in our neighborhood. Here in Central Texas, you have to enjoy snow while it lasts, which is not very long. Here comes the sun...

My Holland

Sometimes the laughter in mothering is the recognition of the ironies and absurdities. Sometime, though, it's just pure, unthinking delight. ~Barbara Shapiro

Being a parent is one of the hardest, yet most rewarding jobs you can ever aspire to have. I love being a mom, but lately I have been feeling like such a failure. When you have a child with special needs, sometimes you feel like what you do is never going to be enough; and then you worry about the toll that it will take on your other children, how they will cope, how you will cope. It’s a vicious cycle of worry. Recently, I have been thinking a great deal about our challenges on the autism journey and how far Tyler has come. I have also thought of how far I have come in this journey, from denial to acceptance. Remembering where we have come from made me forget about my thoughts of failure; it made me feel strong and fierce, like a conqueror of worlds. The past three years have taught me a lot about life and the most important thing is to never give up hope!

When Tyler was diagnosed with autism, I saw all of my hopes and dreams shattered for this “perfect” little life I had imagined. Someone sent me a beautiful poem entitled, “Welcome to Holland,” which was timely and put everything into perspective for me. I am including a link for the poem and I highly encourage you to read it. I had a lot of sadness, anger, resentment; you name it, I felt it. For a while, I mourned the loss of having a “normal child” and not being able to go to “Italy.” I was an emotional trainwreck, so I found the strength and lifted myself out of the darkest depths of despair. But you know what,“Holland,” is pretty damn awesome! It may take us a while to hit our milestones, but when we do, it’s amazing and magical; it makes the struggle to get there incredibly worthwhile. Potty training may be giving me a few extra gray hairs, but Tyler is slowly and surely getting there. He took the initiative and pooped on the potty last night; we celebrated and lived up that moment and made him feel like a million bucks.

Verbally, Tyler has been having an explosion of language. He has also become quite independent and opinionated. An example of his verbal explosion would be a recent trip to a restaurant. We were all ordering our dinner and he says this on cue, “I would like a Grilled Cheese please.” This blew me away! He is especially passionate and opinionated about music. For a while there, he had me burnt out on Usher, who he calls “Usha.” Luke is having the same musical obsessions, which means that if I want to have a peaceful trip anywhere, I will have to give in and listen to their favorites, namely Usher. Recently, I downloaded some new music from I-tunes, some alternative. I made a mix CD with Broken Social Scene, Arcade Fire, Death Cab for Cutie, Phoenix, Metric, Mumford & Sons and Iron & Wine. Surprisingly, the boys love it, especially Metric. Our new favorite song is “Gold Gun Girls” which we now listen to repeatedly. Thank goodness, I was about to sacrifice our Usher CD to the gods.

I love watching Tyler and Luke’s relationship grow, and their brotherly bond deepen. They are so good for each other. I have read that siblings of children with special needs are very compassionate people and we definitely need more of those types in our society today. They look out for each other, laugh with (and at) each other, share their fascinations and, of course, rebel against me. My heart leaps for joy when they hug or tell each other “I love you.” It is in these moments where I feel incredibly blessed and nothing else seems to matter.

A while back, I would get angered when people would tell me, "God chose you for a reason to be Tyler’s mom." I would think to myself, “why didn’t he just give me some super powers or something?” Then I realized that I already have them; I’m an autism mama and he has given me the greatest gift of all, a son to love.

Here's the link for Welcome to Holland:
http://www.our-kids.org/Archives/Holland.html